10 Ways to Drive Away Traffic from Your Site
Posted on August 20, 2007
Have too much traffic to your site? Want to shew-off a good portion of potential readers? Well, it’s actually quite easy. Just follow these tips and you will alienate many people from frequenting your site, myself included. Here we go, just do the following:
- Include pop-up windows. Even one will do the trick. Have it activate on page load. Most users will have it blocked, but either way, you’ll send them running.
- Make sure your page loads slowly. Load-up with unoptimized images, include 25 or 30 widgets and set the blog to load 40 or 50 posts.
- Feature 10 or 15 YouTube videos. Don’t actually add much content to the posts. This will tip off the reader to head to YouTube if they are really interested in videos, or for readers in a controlled environment at work, they won’t see the content anyway.
- Publish poorly written posts. Since you haven’t spent much time and care in writing your posts, folks won’t spend time reading it. I guess that’s a pretty fair exchange.
- Leave mountains of spelling and grammatical errors. Don’t think of running a spell checker.
- Post lots of grotesque imagery. Feature intense, gnarly imagery and you’ll attract a portion of readers. But the rest of us will head-off to other blogs and oh by-the-way do just about anything to avoid your site.
- Write with endless vulgarity. Publish posts with a stream of blanky blank verbage which shows your disregard for the sensibilities of the reader and lack of creative expression. You will have effectively convinced the reader that their time is spent better elsewhere.
- Plagerize, barrow and steal. Just barrow content from other sites. The originators won’t mind right?
- Post lots of tasteless degrading nudity. Those photos are just the ticket to send folks running, especially when they are reading at work.
- Feature dancing baloney. That’s my bosses term for pointless animation and stupid features. Post animated graphics that the user can’t shut-off, send them into a seizure and generally irritate them. Add some good annoying music to it and you are set.
There you have it. If you try really hard you too get rid of all of those pesky readers. I’m sure you can be creative and think of some other ways, but there’s a few to get you going.
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8 Responses to “10 Ways to Drive Away Traffic from Your Site”
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totally good tips!
Luka, thanks. Glad they seem helpful. Blogging challenges us all in our creativity.
[…] 10 Ways to Drive Away Traffic from Your Site » This Summary is from an article posted at Thought Sparks on Monday, August 20, 2007 10 Ways to […]
Thanks Phil.
These are indeed great tips!
I would like to add that Blog’s author that never reply to comments will eventually discourage readers from future revisit!
Many Blessings to you, Phil
Sam, Yes that is a most excellent point. Definitely a major detractor from any ongoing readership. Thanks!
Here’s another one:
The biggest turnoff for me about a blog is….really long paragraphs . As a mom, I like to come back to a blog when I’m in the middle of it. Kids run rampant and I’ve always got to break away. So I like short paragraphs with lots of breaks.
Yep, let’s hear it for subtitles. Depending on the blog, bullets or numbered lists are nice as well. In any case, breaking-up the content is always easier for readers, even those who read it straight through. Many folks scan the page and read only points of special interest. Subtitles get the main points across to assist the user.